this goes out to every person who has come into my life and taught me something, i love you for it.
to every person who caught me when i fell, over and over again - one day i will catch you.
to my beautiful, intelligent, sparkling, spectacular friends - i adore you, you complete me, and i can't imagine life without you.
to my parents - i respect you more than you know and know you half as well as i'd like, i'm going to change that.
thomas - what a year my dear! we've been to hell and back together, but im happy to call you my friend and blessed to have you in my life. i'm sorry sometimes if i take out my moods on you, or criticise you more than a friend should. i will never ever forgive myself for the way i treated you. and i don't really talk about that a lot, because it's one thing i've done which really disgusts me, and for you to actually speak to me after that, let alone forgive me and be pretty much my bestfriend/soulmate shows what a kind and wonderful person you really are. you're my best friend, and i care about you enormously and will always love you, so i say it straight - sometimes maybe too straight, but it's the way i am as you know. have an awesome vacation, i'll write lots and take some pics for me! can't wait to see you in 2011 and touch fingers like ET at the airport, hehe. i miss you, even though we've never met i still feel like you're missing!
jesse - keep making me proud, believe in your dreams and follow your heart. i love you and never ever want to lose you. ever, ever, ever. i guess i hope we can talk a while tomorrow, if we do it will make my christmas day :)
"i'd catch a grenade for you
put my hand on a blade for you
i'd jump in front of a train for ya
you know i'd do anything for ya "
bruno says it better than i can, but i mean every word. have an amazing christmas and just enjoy the time with your family. no sadness mister, not on my account. you deserve all the happiness in the world.
carlo - sometimes i think we're actually quite alike in terms of our sadness, i really think we might be suffering from the same thing. we have days we're happy, and days we're sad. but ultimately we get on with it and always come out fighting. i admire you so much for just keeping on keeping on, being brave and trying to look for the goodness in everything. i hope you have an amazing christmas, enjoy your 2 christmas dinners :)
finally, last but always in my eyes first:
dave - another year without you, it doesnt really get any easier. i have days where i sometimes hate you, but even more times i remember you with love. we only have memories now, and all out dreams are dead. but you were the love of my life, and maybe if souls really do transcend death, one day we can be together again. it's a romantic thought, but it's one that's got me through many a dark night. so please, save me a space my the fire, i'll be a while yet baby x
merry christmas everybody - this is the first year i've said that and actually meant it.
Love B xxx
