i believe in two versions of love. you're either the kind of person who falls in love using your head, or like me, you love with your heart.
if you love with your head it's rational. it's planned. its meticulous, clean, safe. you control the love, it doesn't control you. it's like a dog on a leash, you pull it along at your own pace.
it's your beast. you mould it, create it and make it fit around your life, and if it goes too far you beat it like a blacksmith back into the place that it was meant to be.
love is your bitch. if it works for you at that moment and suits your purposes then it stays. the moment the cost-benefit swings the wrong way you're done. you can flip the switch, erase and discard.
i'm not that person. i love with my heart. i love with my soul. i love with every atom, every breath, every smile, every laugh. i love as if the act of love itself is the antidote to my life. a radiant light that will save me from the darkness. there are countless analogies, but most of all i love like i have nothing to lose.
for me lovemaking is so stormy and theatrical that i tear into my lover, and when i do, i tear holes. sometimes sex is more like fighting than love. we slam each other around. trying to find each other’s souls, knowing they must be in there somewhere, close to our undernourished hearts.
my love is furious. and brave. and loud.
the first time i saw into your heart you touched me and i felt as if the texture of the world had changed, grown warmer but also more expansive. you felt permeable to me and seeped into everything and everything into you.
my lover is my black hole. i want him to devour me.
i hope you're like me, the worst thing in the world is to give yourself away in exchange for not enough love...
