i look like decay.
scars on my arms fade like diamonds embedded in sand, moments of clarity sinking back into sagging puddles of disregard.
externally i'm placid, inside i burn.
i'm disfigured, a cripple of my own self hatred.
i want the lights to go out.
i want to take all the pills. feel my kidneys ache with analgesia. nausea in my belly. before i lie down with you in my mind and take my final sleep.
i hope to dream.
i hope to hope.
please wake me up from this nightmare.
ah, if only words could scream.
