the night is my lover, my sweetheart, and if i go out at night, i want my night to have all of these things at once: a sense of occasion, a dramatic plotline, and someone with whom i can share an exquisitely beautiful understanding. but in face, none of my nights out have ever possessed all three of these qualities. i know that somewhere along the line i get lost.

thats why every night when i get home i check my email. email begins at the vanishing point of you, me and the night. my mailbox exists with a fixed protocol, and i know so long as i dont make a mistake, as long as i hit the right keys, the messages will write and be sent out. i can be reasonably certain of this, and i find it deeply satisfying.

i like to tell stories in my emails. if a plot that has me in it is unfinished and has lots of loose ends, i'll add onto it. if none of the stories i'm ever in are beautiful or moving, i'll still go on telling them. if none of the people in my life are adequate or ideal, i still won't give up on my search, even if the best i can do is to find something that resembles those people.

when i transmit a story electronically, i'm weaving memories together between my fingers. if the recipient has come into my thoughts, he will learn what he means to me. even though i may be rather scattered, i still think there's nothing more important than stories. every detail in a story dances because every detail is a fragment. perhaps nothing has been set into motion yet today, but that isn't going to knock me down.