I’ll never escape. It drives me mad. I must must must do something. I feel as if I’m at the earth’s heart. I’ve got the whole weight of the whole earth pressing in on this little box. It grows smaller smaller smaller. I can feel it contracting.
I want to scream sometimes. Till my voice is raw. To death.
I can’t write it. There aren’t the words.
Utter despair.
I’ve been like that all day. A kind of endless panic in slow motion.