They say life is a lesson and you learn it when you're through. Well, screw that. I want to learn it all right now. I want to know the answers before you even ask the question. Hell, I even want to be the one asking the questions. You get my point, I don't want my life to be at the mercy of anyone.


I have this desire to experience everything. And its something that won't be quelled. Again I return to the same idea, the RAF, seeing the world, learning how to fight a war, living with comrades and friends and experiencing the best that life has to offer. I've thought about it on an off for years, but cancer and then bipolar always got in the way.


If i can show i've beaten bipolar and had no episodes in 12 months then I can apply. That gives me the time to get fit, and really consider my options and if its right for me. Admittedly, even this decision to try means i'll pretty much be living at the gym, but so be it. I choose that route. I choose to make my body as strong as my mind. I choose blood and sweat over comfort and relaxation. Not because I don't want the latter more than the former, but because the latter is worth NOTHING without the former.


I don't want to watch the news any more. I want to be it.