psych ward, aged 19

with shaking hands, i carefully unscrewed the bare light bulb hanging in my room and smashed it to the floor. carefully, i picked up the tiny glass shards and swallowed them down with a glass of water. i expected to feel intense pain, but i didn't, and instead i was swamped with a sense of relief. i'd needed to slash my arms, but, locked in the bare room of a psychiatric unit without even a hairbrush, the light bulb was the only way i could hurt myself.