cancer.

during chemo and radiotherapy, you're more tired than you've ever been. it's like a cloud passing over the sun, and suddenly you're out. you don't know how you'll answer the door when your groceries are delivered. but you also find that you're stronger than you've ever been. you're clear. your mortality is at optimal distance, not up so close that it obscures everything else, but close enough to give you depth perception. previously, it has taken you weeks, months, or years to discover the meaning of an experience. now it's instantaneous.